i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize