I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
