Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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