im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
