oh god the rape fog is back!
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
