After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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