Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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