for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We are two peas in an std pod
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
