my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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