hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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