Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
