I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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