5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
