I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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