The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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