butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
