I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
