i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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