let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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