so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
