If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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