you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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