He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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