I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
