You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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