how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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