shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
