They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize