Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
