Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I need to calm my uterus...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
