she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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