Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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