Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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