I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
