i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
