Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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