Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
