we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
