Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
