Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
