i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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