did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
