The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
