Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She's the barista slut.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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