he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize