her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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