I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
