Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
