She announced her abortion via fbk
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
How external is "for external use only"?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
