do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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