We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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