ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
