i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
