enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
