i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
