either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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