this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
