My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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