I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
