we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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