I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
