Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Oh god it's open bar.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
