Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
