you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
