Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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