I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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