So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
