we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize