I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
