Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
