He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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