You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
