K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
