If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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