There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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