It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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