I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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